I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dick very happy bro
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
