He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize