Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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