When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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