I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize