We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
