Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
