Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
where am i from again
it's not cheating when I paid for it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
