please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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