the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Your penis caused this!
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