I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
