Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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