I intend to get homeless drunk
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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