i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
