He had one of those small greek statue penises
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
