Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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