hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
