yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
