I can't watch pbs sober anymore
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
