Small penises have feelings too.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
