my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
