i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
