so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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