i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
accomplished twins. life is a go
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Randomize
