i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
