Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
