I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Are we in a gay sports bar?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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