how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
