Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
