Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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