do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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