Quick, to the slutcave!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
