I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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