I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize