couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
