This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
