Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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