it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
