I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
