I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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