if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
