operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
