I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
