I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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