I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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