I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Randomize