my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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