I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
