Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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