And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
