I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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