just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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