Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
