I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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