i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
