is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
