note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
