do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
