This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize