finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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