Moan for me like Helen Keller
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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