brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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