I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
