question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
