We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
