Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
