Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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