Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
