I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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